Thursday, December 23, 2010

Indigestion and the Subtleties of Aging

Indigestion n~Technical name: dyspepsia;  difficulty in digesting food, accompanied by abdominal pain, heartburn, and belching.
I remember when I could eat anything I wanted and just about as much as I could fit on a mounded, heaping plate.  No more.  If I don't cut myself off from eating by 7pm I don't sleep, at least not well and probably at an upright angle.  I can't quite place the time or age when it all started, it just snuck up on me gradually and got to this point.  Sometimes it's the best reminder I have that I'm not 19 anymore.  Aging is weird like that, it's sneaky.  There are days you wake up and feel like you could run a 10k, then there are the days you wake feeling like you actually did. 
It's a cruelty of life I guess to have to accept you are no longer the youngin' you use to be, that maybe you don't have the flexibility (in your back or your options) you once did.  What do we have to counter those sad little facts?  Nice jobs? More money? Homes and cars and big boy toys?  Yeah, maybe, but it doesn't change the fact that my back is tighter than a garage door spring.  I need to stretch for 20 minutes just to put my shoes on.  But it's weird because there are still these little moments where I can still run around, play a game or two, hit the slopes--sometimes hard--my shoulder still hurts from a failed landing, and I feel like I'm still there....it's a feeling that breeds optimism.  There is still time!  I can do anything!  The world is mine! 
Then, Karsten wakes up from his nap and I'm content with just being able to get up the stairs in time to cease his yelling "DAD!  DAD! DAD!"...pausing at the top of the steps to catch my breath....and I wrap my head around this fact...the time is his now, he can do anything, the world...is his--and I'll do anything to make sure he gets his shot at it all.
Then there is the question...how much of aging is in your head?  I'd take time to answer that, but my stomach is upset and I need to go dig up the Pepto.  Maybe next time.

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